The feeling in my heart as I write this is bittersweet.
A lot has happened in the last 31 days,
I have lost,
but I have gained.
I have cried,
but I have laughed.
I have said goodbye,
but I have said hello.
I have been disappointed,
but I have been surprised.
I have been pushed down,
but someone was always there to pick me up.
My heart has been broken,
but mended by loving hands.
I have learned.
I close my eyes and listen to the rain fall from the sky in millions of tiny droplets. The sound is soothing, safe, it’s like the whole world is is close together. We have all felt the same rain, just in different storms. The calmness of water coming down lets me forget the stress of my day. I let myself get gently wrapped up in the peacefulness and find my comfort.
Only two more days left!! How did this even happen?
Homework. Homework. More stinking homework.
I chase after them as they giggle,
they hold it up high as if I can’t reach it.
Huddling together they create a game plan,
one runs this way,
one runs that way.
Out of breath and sweating we sit on the grass laughing,
their sweet innocence makes me forget what heartbreak feels like.
I close my eyes and let it sink in,
I try in outfit after outfit, loving almost every single one. Even thought I know I probably will not buy anything I just keep going. Sometimes shopping and dreaming can take you away from daily stress for just a little while. I close my eyes breathe in and just enjoy my little break from the world.
Music. It is one of the best things in the world. Music can completely change your mood, it can make you feel things. When words can’t speak, music does. Whether you are on top of the world or at that bottom of the ocean music can express. Even when your heart is breaking, music is there. When you are happier than you’ve ever been, music can explain the feeling. Music.
I don’t say anything as I pass you in the hall.
You don’t smile when you see me in class.
I don’t call whenever I’m down.
You don’t come to me when your hurting.
We used to have never ending conversations, but now I don’t even know how to say hey.
I hope you know that it takes everything in me not to run back, not to cry and say I love you.
The warm air,
the sweet smell of slightly wet dirt and new grass,
the sky looking as if it could rain at any second,
the overwhelming urge to run and never look back.