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Do you ever just look at your life and think about how lucky you are?

My stomach is never empty and my pockets are always heavy. I have a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in.

But even if I didn’t have these things I would be doing alright. I have amazing, wonderful people who are always there for me. They love me and always let me lean on them when I’m not strong enough to stand. I am honestly one of the luckiest people on earth.

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Her eyes are so bright, she looks at the world in a way that I can’t. Everything is new, everyone is good. She knows nothing of self consciousness or broken hearts.  I look into her open eyes and see what the point of life really is, to love. To love with everything you have. To love the people that hurt you. To love the people who pick you up. To love the things that make you happy. To love the things that bring you down.  Life is only worth living if you love. Love with every fiber of your being, you may not always be happy , but you will never feel meaningless. Where there is love there is life.

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Yes, you loose people who never thought you could but you also gain friendships that you never thought you would. You find the people who will never leave your side, that love you for you. Growing up you learn that it’s not always about time, but about kindness, trust and truth.

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Tonight I got one of the best texts that I have ever received. One of my best friends is a very talented swimmer. She is at a State Championship this weekend. My friend was very nervous about swimming the mile because she doesn’t do that very often. Tonight she shaved 1:04 off of her time and is now a state campion. I am so proud of her that I can’t even put it into words. She means so much to me and seeing her succeed like this makes me so happy. I am so excited for her. She is AMAZING!

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Growing up can be really hard sometimes, especially when you begin to grow in a different direction. Lately it has become very clear to me that everyone grows up at different rates and in different directions. Suddenly the people who have always been there for you aren’t there anymore, they’re not the same people they once were.  But I’ve changed too, I’m not the same either. In some ways that makes it easier and in others harder. What are we supposed to do? Trying to make things work doesn’t seen like an option anymore. Are we just supposed to move on? It’s like I’m stuck in the doorway between now and then. It’s so hard to let go of something that I held on to so hard for so long. I guess that’s when I have have to use the “grownup-ness” , to know what to say goodbye.

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Things have been a little rough for me lately but tonight was almost perfect. I got to spend the whole night with people who care and support me. I danced(ish) and sung at the top of my lungs. Does it really get any better than that?